Does fear hold you back from going for what you want? Or keep you stuck because you don’t want to put yourself in the position to fail?
For me, imposter syndrome never sounded like bold-faced lies… It sounded like a friend, whispering to me to stay safe and stay comfortable. And that’s the biggest problem. We confuse imposter syndrome with our intuition trying to protect us, when really it’s keeping us from reaching the lives we desire.
So, how can we tell the difference? How do we know what we really should do, and what voices inside of us to listen to and which ones to push past and ignore?
I heard on a podcast recently (Glennon Doyle’s We Can Do Hard Things podcast…. SO GOOD) that when you have both fear and longing about the same thing, always listen to the longing. The fear in those cases is your imposter syndrome, and it is not your advisor.
But when you feel fear but have NO longing about something, that’s when you listen to and follow the fear. If the idea of having kids scares you, and you truly have no longing for kids and instead desire freedom to travel and do what you want with your time, then you must listen to your fear. Because usually in those situations, it’s outside voices and society pressuring us, saying we need to long for certain things, and our fear is really our intuition telling us we need to listen to our gut.
5 ways to cure imposter syndrome
So… when you fear and long for something, and imposter syndrome is telling you you can’t… you shouldn’t… you don’t deserve to… here’s the antidote. Do these 5 things, and I promise you’ll be able to push past the fear and step into who you’re meant to be.
1. Keep your eyes on your own paper!
If I could give one piece of business advice specifically, this would be it. Stop following what other people are doing. I know, you’re telling yourself you’re getting “inspiration” or doing market research. Or you’re genuinely interested in the subject, so you like learning more about it. But at a certain point it’s actually more harmful than helpful. Most likely you’re comparing yourself to someone who’s been doing their thing for YEARS, so the comparison just isn’t helpful.
Instead, start your own journey. Keep your head down. Tune in to yourself and your own why, instead of what other people are doing.
2. Adopt an abundance mentality.
This means that you no longer tell yourself things like, ‘Oh, too many people are already doing that, there’s no room for me,‘or,’Why would I be any different?‘Instead, you abide by the idea that there is NO LIMIT to the amount of people out there who need help. And every person will be attracted to something different in who they choose to get that help from.
So, be you. Be the most YOU you can. People are attracted and resonate with honesty & vulnerability, not you trying to be like other people out there. There is more than enough to go around. Always.
3. Stop looking and start doing.
The best action is any action– messy and imperfect. Because that’s where you actually learn, not from sitting on the sidelines. The best entrepreneurs are the ones who fully jump in and just try things– fully. And without making it mean anything when something doesn’t work as planned. You gain so much wisdom, confidence and grit when you get out there. Even tiny steps count.
4. If it makes you feel uncomfortable or nervous, good.
Remember, it isn’t fear that’s the red flag. Fear is GOOD for you. It’s natural. It’s a way for your body and mind to register, ‘This feels different. This is new. This is something we’re not used to…‘and that can ring some alarm bells. But if you fear it and long for it, then keep moving towards it. The discomfort, the nerves– those all subside with action and momentum. So keep going.
5. Know that it’s a disservice to others to keep your work, magic, your light & your gifts to yourself.
Think about that one. Don’t be selfish by holding in your magic, the unique and completely one-of-a-kind way YOU can serve others, with your own blend of experiences, education, stories & knowledge.
We are each put on this earth to help, to serve and to make the world a better place in some capacity or another. And we each have unique gifts. We need each other to thrive. And we need to be bold enough to put our gifts out there.
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